Newborn Survival Guide: 21 Things I Wish I’d Known About The First 6 Weeks
No one warned me that I’d cry because the toast was burnt.
Not because of the toast, but because I hadn’t slept, my baby wouldn’t latch, and everyone kept saying “enjoy every minute” while I was just trying to get through the next ten.
If you’re in the first 6 weeks with your newborn and wondering, “why is this so hard for me?”... this is for you.
This isn’t a perfect-routine, color-coded-schedule kind of guide. It’s a real-life survival guide: gentle truths, tiny systems, and practical ideas you can try today to make things even 10% easier.
You are not doing it wrong. You are doing something enormous.
What No One Told Me About the First 6 Weeks
People talk about the birth. They talk about the baby. They don’t always talk about this bit.
Here are a few things I wish someone had said out loud:
- You can love your baby and still miss your old life. Both can be true at the same time.
- “Sleeping when the baby sleeps” is… optimistic. Sometimes you want to shower, eat, or just scroll and stare.
- You don’t become “maternal enough” overnight. Bonding can be instant, slow, wobbly, or interrupted by stitches, sore nipples, and cluster feeds.
- Your baby has not read the baby books. “Normal” is a very, very wide range.
- Google at 3am is not your friend. If every search ends with you convinced something is wrong, it’s time to close the tabs.
If no one has said this to you yet: you are not broken. This is what a huge life shift can feel like.
Sleep: “Good Enough” Sleep, Not Perfect Baby Sleep
Let’s start with the big one.
What’s Actually Normal in the First 6 Weeks
In the very early weeks, most newborns:
- Wake every 2–3 hours (or more) to feed
- Confuse days and nights
- Prefer sleeping on or very close to a warm human
- Have some noisy, wriggly sleep
It’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s just how tiny tummies and new nervous systems work.
You don’t need a perfect routine. You need a “good enough” sleep plan that gives you some rest and doesn’t make you feel like you’re constantly failing a schedule.
Three “Good Enough” Sleep Anchors
Try thinking in anchors instead of routines:
One realistic stretch of rest for you in 24 hours
- Maybe it’s a 90-minute nap while someone else holds the baby.
- Maybe it’s going to bed embarrassingly early while a partner does the 9pm–11pm shift.
One simple calming cue at night
Do the same tiny things before “night sleep”, even if it’s still choppy:
- Dim the lights
- Change into sleep clothes
- Say the same short phrase:
“Okay little one, it’s sleepy time now.”
One tiny dose of daylight for you and baby
- A short walk or standing at an open window.
- Daylight helps reset your body clock (and theirs, slowly).
Scripts for Asking for Help (Because That’s Hard Too)
Sometimes the biggest barrier to sleep is asking.
Try copying and pasting a version of these:
To a partner or close friend:
“I’m so tired I feel wobbly. Could you take the baby for an hour this evening so I can lie down with earplugs in?”
To family who ask “How can we help?”
“Honestly, the best gift right now would be a night of support. Could you come over one evening this week and hold the baby while we sleep?”
You deserve rest just as much as your baby deserves care.
Feeding: The Messy Middle Between “Plan” and Reality
Feeding is one of the fastest ways mums feel like they’re “failing”. Let’s not.
Whether you’re breastfeeding, pumping, combo-feeding or using formula: you are feeding your baby. Full stop.
If You’re Breastfeeding
Normal (but stressful) things can include:
- Sore nipples at the start
- Baby falling asleep at the breast
- Cluster feeding (hours of on-off feeding in the evenings)
- Feeling like you’re feeding all the time
What can help:
- Getting hands-on help with latch (lactation consultant, midwife, health visitor, community breastfeeding groups)
- Trying different positions (laid-back, side-lying, rugby hold)
- Using a comfy, private setup that makes you feel safe and relaxed when feeding – at home or out
If you’re nervous about feeding in public, having something soft and breathable you can drape (a light muslin, shawl, nursing cover – whatever makes you feel confident) can make those first outings less stressful.
If You’re Pumping or Combo-Feeding
You are doing two jobs at once – feeding and pumping – and that is a lot.
Little things that help:
- A simple pump schedule that works for your life, not Instagram
- Hands-free pumping bras so you can at least drink water or scroll while you pump
- A dedicated “pump basket” with everything in one place so you’re not hunting for parts at midnight
And again: combo-feeding does not mean you “failed” at breastfeeding. It means you found a way that works for your real life.
If You’re Formula Feeding
You are still a great mum. Full stop.
Things that make formula feeding smoother:
A night-time feeding station with:
- Clean bottles ready
- Pre-measured formula (if appropriate in your country)
- A thermos of hot water + cooled boiled water (if you’re using the “hot shot + top up” method, following safety guidelines)
- A small tray or caddy so everything is in one “grab and go” place
Myth vs Reality (for All Kinds of Feeding)
| Myth | Reality |
|---|---|
| “If baby feeds for 20 minutes, they must be full.” | Some babies are snackers; nappies and weight gain are better indicators. |
| “Good mums breastfeed exclusively.” | Good mums feed their babies in the way that keeps everyone safe and sane. |
| “Asking for help means I can’t cope.” | Asking for help is exactly what coping looks like during huge life change. |
| “Once feeding is sorted, everything will be easy.” | Feeding is one piece of the puzzle; it’s okay if other bits still feel hard. |
If you’re ever worried about baby’s intake, nappies, or weight gain, please talk to your midwife, health visitor, pediatrician or GP – not a random forum at 3am.
Leaving the House Without a Meltdown (Yours or Baby’s)
Your first trip out with a newborn can feel like preparing for a polar expedition.
Let’s shrink it.
The 20-Minute Walk Rule
Your “first outing” doesn’t need to be a café, a baby class, or a supermarket.
It can be:
- A 10-minute walk away from home and 10 minutes back
- A slow loop around the block
- Sitting on a bench in the nearest park
That still counts as fresh air, movement, and a reminder that the outside world still exists.
The Bare-Minimum Nappy Bag
You do not need to pack your entire house.
For a short trip, try:
- 3–4 nappies
- Wipes
- One spare outfit for baby
- One spare top for you
- One soft, hardworking piece that can do a bit of everything:
- cover for feeding
- light blanket
- shade over the pram
- emergency spit-up shield
At Byrd & Blume we think a single, beautiful, multitasking piece can do wonders – whether it’s our nursing cover, a favorite scarf, or that one muslin you always reach for.
Celebrate the Small Wins
It’s okay if:
- Baby cried in the stroller
- You only made it to the corner and back
- You came home sooner than planned
The win is: you got out. That’s huge.
Your Mental Health: You’re Allowed Not to Be Okay
We talk a lot about baby’s growth. We don’t talk enough about yours.
The first 6 weeks can be:
- Lonely, even if you’re never physically alone
- Overwhelming, even when things are “fine” on paper
- Emotional, in ways that surprise you
“Hard Day” vs “Red Flag”
Everyone has hard days.
But there are times when it’s really important to reach out for professional help. Please talk to your doctor, midwife, or health visitor urgently if:
- You feel persistently hopeless or numb
- You struggle to feel anything towards your baby
- You have scary thoughts about harming yourself or your baby
- You feel like you’re sinking and can’t come up for air
You are not weak or failing if you need extra support. Postnatal depression and anxiety are common, treatable, and absolutely not your fault.
Tiny Grounding Tricks
On the “ordinary hard” days, these can help you get through the next hour:
The 5-senses check
Say to yourself:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
One thing just for you each day
- Drinking a hot drink while it’s still warm
- Standing outside and taking 10 slow breaths
- Putting on fresh, soft clothes you actually like
The “good enough today” question
“What’s one tiny thing I can do today that future me will be grateful for?”
That might be starting a load of laundry, booking that GP appointment, or texting a friend “I’m struggling”.
You’re allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to say this is hard. You’re allowed to be human.
Tiny Systems That Make Life 10% Easier
You don’t need a perfect routine. You need small, repeatable things that reduce friction.
Here are a few “tiny systems” mums often love:
Night-time station next to your bed
- Nappies, wipes, spare sleepsuit, burp cloth, water bottle, lip balm.
- One place, less fumbling in the dark.
Basket per room
- Each basket has nappies, wipes, and a muslin.
- No more “which room did I leave the wipes in?”
One “company ready in 3 minutes” trick
- Hair in a bun, swipe of something on your lips, baby on a beautiful playmat or blanket covering the chaos underneath.
(This is where a gorgeous, washable mat or throw really earns its keep.)
Standard visitor script
“We’d love to see you, but short visits are best for us right now. And we may hand you the baby while we grab a shower.”
The “done is done” list
At the end of the day, instead of listing what you didn’t do, jot down what you did:
- Fed baby (again and again)
- Changed nappies
- Kept a tiny human alive
- Sent that text
- Went outside
Spoiler: you’re doing far more than you realize.
If You’re Pregnant and Reading This in Advance
Firstly: hi, planner. You’re my kind of person.
Here are a few things you can do now that your future self might really appreciate:
Set expectations with your partner/support people
Talk about:
- Night shifts
- Visitors
- Who does what in the first 2–3 weeks
Create a basic “support menu”
A list of things people can do if they ask “How can we help?”
- Drop off food
- Take laundry
- Walk the dog
- Hold the baby while you nap
Prep a few comfort corners
- A feeding/snuggle chair with a lamp, charger, snacks, and water
- A soft space on the floor (like a playmat or rug) where baby can kick and you can lie down next to them
You can’t plan everything (babies are very anti-itinerary), but you can cushion the chaos.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If you’re in the thick of the first 6 weeks, here’s what I’d whisper to you if I could sit on your sofa for a minute:
You are not failing.
You are not behind.
You are not supposed to know how to do all of this straight away.
You and your baby are learning each other, day by day, night by night. That’s tiring, beautiful, and messy work.
Take what’s helpful from this guide. Ignore what isn’t. There is no one right way to do this – only the way that keeps you and your baby safe, fed, loved, and just about rested enough to go again tomorrow.
Tell me in the comments:
👉 What’s one thing that surprised you most about life with a newborn?
Your story might be exactly what another mom needs to read at 3am.